My Bucket List... :)

So for the past few weeks, I have come to the realization that I will be graduating soon and going out on my own.  Although I have always been one to have goals set, I decided to make a bucket list.  Some things on the list are easily attainable and will come within the next few months while others are lifelong goals… I’m sure as time progresses, I’ll add more to the list, but this is a start. 

And so it begins…..My Bucket List:

Develop a deeper relationship with Christ- I don’t know if there will ever be an “end” to this or atleast I hope not.  I want involve God in every aspect of my life.  I want to strive to increase my faith by learning about him and developing my prayer life. I want to develop a God perspective so that I can see the beauty and grace that life has offer.

Graduate: Of course I have a countdown for this… 178 days until completion of my Master’s degree… This includes a bunch of mini-goals like passing the ASHA Praxis, finishing my thesis, completing my final externship!  All the many many things I have left to do! What’s so great about graduation is that I will finally get to start a career that I am completely passionate about. Speech pathology has been a God-given path for me, and I definitely found my “nitch!”

Find a job that I LOVE! Oh the joys of “big girl world” as my Dad would call it! I’ve always wanted to be that person who wakes up every day excited about work, and can’t wait to start my day.  Speech-pathologists do SO much and we have the opportunity to work with different populations in a variety of work settings, so I want to find the job that has my name written ALL over it.  I think this will come with time as I experience life as a speech-pathologist!  I look forward to every day of my future career.

Go to Italy, Greece, Australia, Alaska, and Israel: This is a short list of all the places I want to go… Mainly for the natural beauty of these places… I do plan on going to these one day.  SOMEHOW!

Fall in love… Oh the infamous “fall in love.” Although I know there is no such thing as a “fairy tale” relationship, but I am a hopeless romantic. I want to have a relationship with Christ as the center.  I could spend days saying what falling in love for me would be, but I don’t think they allow that many characters in the blog post… I might have to save it for another one! J

Build/Buy a house…. And decorate it!  I have a secret passion, and that is interior designing. (I suppose I can thank my Aunt Susie for that) So naturally I want a house that I can invest all my creative artsy ideas into!

Be a Mom…This is somewhat self-explanatory!  I love children and when God sees fit, I would love to have them as my own!  Until then, I will just love all my sweet kids that I have for clients!

Master the art of personal finance… This is actually a goal I hope to achieve before I graduate!  The other day it hit me that I should start learning about these things before I move far away from my sweet Daddy who won’t be able to help me every step of the way. So far I plan on reading two books about personal finance.  We’ll see how that goes!

Make a quilt… My great grandmothers always enjoyed sewing and quilting, and I am blessed to have some of those quilts.  I plan on keeping that tradition going and plan on starting my first quilt once I graduate and have a job to support all my new hobbies!

Write a family history book… This is an idea I developed about 6 months ago!  I was ready to move forward with it and then school started back. HALT!  But hopefully I’ll begin this soon!

Become healthier… I think this is a lifelong goal that will change as I age!  I just want to strive to be the healthiest Amanda I can be! 

Learn something new every day…. I always like learning things and I want to always have the desire to learn new things and expand my knowledge in a variety of ways.

Become fluent in Spanish…. This is a running joke with my father.  He just doesn’t understand how I could have taken 3 years of Spanish in highschool and 4 semesters in college and not be fluent…. Maybe I’ll take a sabbatical from work and emerse myself in the language… perhaps in Spain?? I’m thinking for 6 months to a year? Yes… add that to the travel list above! J

Live in a place where there are 4 distinct seasons… I want springtime and rain, summer and sunshine, fall and red leaves and cool breeze, and winter with SNOW SNOW SNOW! And I’m going to get it!  You better believe this is a heavy contender in where I choose to take a job next year…

Learn to love deeper, laugh harder, and live for Christ! 

Amanda

Surrender

Over the past few weeks, I've been dealing with uneasiness regarding a relationship in my life.  I felt like I was doing all the right things for everyone involved striving to meet the needs of the relationship, but deep down I was struggling.  There were times I couldn't contain my concern and we just couldn't seem to come up with  a collaborative way to help the situation. I would blame my worry and negative emotions on the actions of others reminding myself if they would just change one little thing it would help so much.

This week only worsened the situation and I had an increasing anxiety about it.  I was trying to figure out what was wrong and what actions I could take to change the situation.  The actions I took only made the person withdraw even more consequently increasing my anxiety. Thursday night I was at the peak of my anxiety crying asking God what to do, what could change to make it better. At that moment, I thought I was upset because of the actions of the other person, but I WAS WRONG--I just didn't see it then.  After much prayer and tears that night, I felt relief that I had come to point where my feelings were out in the open with God, even though I know he is all knowing. I began to contemplate on what the other person could be feeling and how my actions could have forced that person away.  My neediness for a "relationship fix" only made the problem more prominent. I had come to a place of understanding, or so I thought.  Fortunately, God can continue to show you things even when you think there is nothing else to see or understand.

Saturday night I sang in choir at church.  I was feeling good, but the whole situation was still in the back of my head--perhaps because I had made these revelations in my head, but I had not shared them with the other person involved. We sang three songs and a choir special 1. Love the Lord your God 2. Let Our Song Be a Sweet Aroma of Praise and 3. Lord I Give You My Heart.  Why is this important?  Because it was about surrender.  What had I not done in this relationship? Surrendered it to God.  I was so invested in making it work and making the other person see why I was upset, that I failed to see God's purpose for the relationship.  I was striving to do all the right things for what reason?  Selfish reward.  I wanted to prove that I could make this relationship work.  Although on the surface it seemed that I was having a power struggle with the other person, it was actually a power struggle with God.  I wasn't crying Thursday night because I was upset due to the actions of the other person, I was upset because I couldn't find a way to do it within my control.

Today I feel revived in the spirit of surrender and confident that the future of my relationships are in the hands of God Almighty.  By his grace my eyes were opened and I am forever thankful.  I challenge everyone to surrender their heart, soul, and mind to Christ.  Don't hold back and attempt at having control.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you.  Plans to give you hope and future." Jeremiah 29:11

What a powerful thing to know that we have the Creator of the world to molds us and provide hope and   a future.  My prayer is that I'm continually open to learning how to Live, Laugh, and Love--God's Way.

Amanda